Disappointment

I probably shouldn't write about this, since it's kinda personal, but it’s been on my mind. 

 I have done 5 races since I started down this road.  Only 2 have I had anyone there to cheer me on.  I know Jen would be there with the girls if she could, but due to our financial situation we both work A LOT.  This last Sunday was her first day back working at the Campus so obviously she couldn’t get the time off.  Jen’s parents watched the girls for us.  It would have been nice to see them at the finish line, but there is no way that they would ever do something like that.  I probably shouldn’t call them out like that but it hurts that they wouldn’t go to the effort to have them watch their Dad compete.  The girls love watching us do these kinds of things. 

The other part of this that bothers me is before the race, seeing everyone with friends and family talking and laughing and encouraging each other, seeing all the signs out on the course and then cheering them on at the finish and hanging out.  I really don’t have any true friends.  And the only family that is somewhat local to me is Jen’s.  On Facebook I say a lot of stupid things at stupid times.  And in person I am shy, quiet and somewhat socially awkward.  So I get that it’s hard to like people like me.  I’ve accepted it and most of the time it doesn’t bother me, but its times like this that it hits me the hardest.